I have sort of an unpopular opinion: I think Hogwarts houses are better than Zodiac signs in pretty much every way imaginable. It isn’t that I think astrology charts aren’t cool. In fact, I think they look very nice and complicated. I just happen to believe that the Hogwarts Sorting Hat — and the Ilvermorny Sorting Ceremony, for that matter — can better predict who a person is.
I know what you’re thinking. Kristian, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat is a fictional, magical artifact. The stars are real! Surely you can’t believe in an old, talking hat more than you believe in astrology? Actually, that’s exactly what I believe, because I think that, when it comes to Hogwarts and astrology, we are talking about two systems, each about as real as the other. So why shouldn’t I choose to subscribe to the one that is, in my humble opinion, a superior system of magical categorization?
To be clear, I am absolutely, 100 percent, not ragging on you if you like astrology. I’m an Earth Snake and a Capricorn with a Life Path Number of Nine, so clearly I have done some dabbling of my own. I just like Hogwarts houses more than I like Zodiac signs, OK? Here’s why.
They’re Based On Your Personality
Zodiac signs determine your personality based on the particular date and time of your birth, which should mean that all the people born on the same day share roughly the same personality traits. That’s not the case, of course.
Hogwarts houses take a different approach. Instead of dictating what your personality should be, the Sorting Hat uses your personality to determine which of the four Hogwarts houses you should be in. That means . . .
You Don’t Have To Know Someone’s Birthday To Sort Them
It’s pretty difficult for a casual astrologer to remember when the Zodiac shifts from Capricorn to Aquarius, or from Virgo to Leo, and it’s downright impossible to know the birth date of every fictional character or celebrity you want to categorize. Thankfully, Hogwarts houses only require you to know someone as a person, and not as a series of numbers.
Every Hogwarts House Has At Least One Strong Role Model
Slytherin has Regulus Black. Ravenclaw has Luna Lovegood. Hufflepuff has Nymphadora Tonks. Gryffindor has… well, pretty much everyone else. Even though the Harry Potter books skew heavily toward Gryffindor when it comes to its heroes, there are role models in every Hogwarts house.
You Can Keep Up With All Of Them
I guarantee you that most of your friends would not be able to remember all 12 Zodiac signs when asked to name them, even if you gave them several minutes to do so. But there are only four Hogwarts houses, which makes them pretty hard to forget, even if you’re just a casual Potterhead.
You’ll Never Have To Worry About Mercury Retrograde
What even is Mercury Retrograde? Does anyone even know, or is it just something we pull out a few times a year to blame for our bad luck? Whatever it is, you’ll never have to worry about Mercury Retrograde when it comes to your Hogwarts house, although you should probably watch out for Nargles.