Dating in 2017 is a nightmare. Luckily, we have dozens of dating apps that help us weed out the people we don’t have chemistry with before we even meet them. However, some people find that the person they’re pursuing isn’t right for them weeks, or even months after they begin dating. From flaking on dates to talking about their exes, here, 15 men on Reddit opened up about what makes them lose interest in a potential lover.

User dudelikeshismusic. “If she can’t hold a conversation. If she constantly makes references to other guys. If she doesn’t do anything interesting with her time. If she asks shallow questions about salary or similar topics. If I have to walk on eggshells around her. If she expects me to entertain her. If she isn’t financially independent. If she doesn’t keep an open mind. If she doesn’t have self-confidence.”

User MechMeister. “Of the 4 or 5 last dates I had they mentioned their ex-boyfriend in the first hour. Basically ended it right there it wasn’t worth anyone’s time at that point.”

User ingenjor. “Context and frequency, I’d say. A few mentions of an ex in appropriate contexts, no problem. Constantly bringing up the ex in discussions, what a turnoff. I basically decide then and there to not invest — and then I start talking about my exes.”

User wwjgd. “For me it simpler than just trying to see me. I’m done when a girl doesn’t put the effort into even communicating. So many girls I talk with don’t do anything to push the conversation forward. I’ll ask a question and they answer it as simply as possible. What am I to do then? Keep asking questions until they decide they want to have a conversation? Fuck that! I realize that girls get bombarded by men online, but my opinion is that you shouldn’t reply at all of you’re not willing to put the same effort into your response as I do in trying to break the ice.”

User Dazz316. “When she shows no interest in me. Seriously, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? It defeats the entire purpose of a relationship. So try and if it’s not happening leave.”

User Jazz-un. “Competition and games. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I’m a guy who likes one girl at a time, I just wish I met more girls my age who were like that. Seems people are always entertaining multiple options and I’m a lot more straightforward than that so I don’t entertain having to compete and/or play games trying to figure someone out. Better things to do with my time.”

User d**klord_airplane. “I’ll ask a girl out twice. if she declines both times and she doesn’t make any effort to find a time that works for both of us, i’ll assume that she’s not interested.”

User Accardi_Don. “When she jumps right into serious important topics and I realize my views are gonna piss her off and get me castrated (This has happened too many times to count).”

User RealFoxD. “When it’s obvious she’s not interested. Trying to chase/convince/pursue someone has never once in over 20 years of dating ever worked.”

User ZombieJez. “if she doesn’t reply within a reasonably time frame, say 1 day. if she cancels without an excuse or offering to reschedule. ‘m sick of going after women who turn out to be uninterested later; if they are interested they should be able to show it. it’s 2017, show some initiative ladies.”

User timmeedski. “If the conversation becomes one sided or I’m putting all the work in. If we’re texting for 3 days non-stop and I don’t text you first the next day, I know how you feel about me, especially a week later when you still haven’t said anything. I want to talk to someone who is excited to talk to me as much as I am to them.”

User BluetoothMcGee. “When it’s pretty clear that they have no interest in me whatsoever. It could be anything from not responding to my calls or texts twice in a row, using avoidant body language, to straight up telling me “get away from me you dense, mongoloid creep.” I have a very busy schedule, so that leaves me with no patience to deal with people who don’t give me the time of day.”

User chupacabraha. “On Tinder I’ve got a three strike rule. If she only responds with just a Yes or No or doesn’t ask follow up questions or takes a day to respond, i.e. I have to keep the conversation going, then she’s out after three strikes. This technique is great for saving you time, because you tend to cut the hot ones too much slack, which results in horrible dates.”

User LargeHobbit. “When I get a clear firm no (or a nonverbal equivalent) or when I lose interest, whichever comes first. Cancelling without a reason is a good way to lose my interest.”

User interwebbed. “I’ll try like twice and if she says no I f*** off. I get the hint. Pretty simple. It really sets the stage/tone for any dates that follow after. If a girl is interested and wants to see you, she should not hesitate to say yes. Anything besides that pretty much tells you she is not interested so don’t waste your time. You don’t want to feel like you’re prying her for a date, it sounds desperate and makes you look bad. Aint got time for these games!”