We all like to believe we’re the heroes in our own story, but this isn’t always the case. Especially when it comes to relationships, we’re not always who we want to be. We’re not always living up to our own potential. In fact, in some cases, you may even be the villain in your relationship. You spend so much time assuming that your significant other is sabotaging your happiness, but maybe that isn’t the case. Maybe the real problem is . Naturally, nobody wants to assume these things of themselves, but it’s certainly necessary to consider. Keep reading to discover signs that you’re actually the villain in your relationship.
The hero. We all like to believe that we’re someone worth rooting for, but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, even though we don’t like to believe it, we’re actually the bad guys. We’re the villains. When it comes to being in a relationship, we especially don’t want to see ourselves in this light, but that’s the thing about the truth — it doesn’t always make us feel good.
Trust issues to the extreme. One of your problems is that you always push trust, but you’re constantly snooping on them to make sure they’re being honest. This is ironic, seeing as you’re the one going behind their back, digging into their personal things, but you don’t see it that way, so it doesn’t count… right?
Close or controlling. You claim to be super close with your partner, but really, you’re just controlling. On one hand, it might seem cute that you guys do everything together, when in reality, this is really just because you can’t let them out of your sight. If they’re doing something, you’re tagging along. There’ll be no objections, as far as you see it.
Passing off the problems. It’s good to have a partner around when you’re dealing with some issues, whether these are issues on a large scale (preparing for an interview) or a small scale (doing the dishes). But if you keep giving them all the work, you’re not being cute. You’re just being a manipulative a**hole.
Correct. It’s good to be wrong every now and then. That’s how you learn things. You fall over, you shake yourself off and then you figure out a better solution. Sadly, that’s not the way you see things. In your eyes, you’re always right, and even when you can just hardly prove yourself right, you still figure out ways to make your S.O. feel like the loser.
Contagious negativity. It’s OK if you’re suffering. There’s nothing to be sorry about. However, if all you’re ever doing is constantly dragging down your S.O., then you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself — which is exactly something villains tend to do. If you’re not trying to be positivity, then you may as well as transform your love shack into an evil lair.
Always ending in anger. Even when you’re arguing, you can keep a calm demeanor. Just because you’re not happy with the situation doesn’t mean you have to completely lose your mind. That’s what Lex Luthor would do, and nobody wants to be the Lex Luthor of a relationship, least of all the one person who has to put up with you.
The silent treatment. Something that’s just as bad as ending every argument with a fight is ending every argument in absolute silence. When you “just can’t,” you’re basically saying that you couldn’t possibly care any less about this relationship, your partner or how they see you. Instead of working towards a solution, you’re digging this fight into an even deeper hole.
Digging up the past. If your arsenal is digging up BS from the past during an argument, then you’re sh*tty at arguing. When couples fight, it’s OK. They’re working something out, but they’ll eventually make amends. This isn’t always the case. When you decide to bring topics into the argument that aren’t even relevant, you’re just being a d-bag.
Negative expectations. Why are you dating someone if you always assume that they’re out to get you or cheat on you? All these fears usually come down to are personal issues with yourself that you project onto people who aren’t even bringing you any harm (aside from the harm you’re making up in your head). Just because you think something doesn’t make it actually something.
Always right. The funny thing about villains is that they think they’re always right. Even the hero has moments of doubt, which is exactly what propels them forward on their hero’s journey. Are you seeing the connection yet? You always have to be right, and in doing so, you just make yourself out to be the villain yet again.
It’s over… maybe. You make empty threats. In your head, you’re just doing it to prove a point, but in reality, making empty threats about breaking up is just another form of a weapon, and weapons have no place in a relationship. So, yeah, it’s not cool when you’re constantly seeming like you’re about to walk out, especially since your S.O. is probably just going to end up doing it themselves if this BS keeps lasting.
Leave it for later. Don’t put off your problems, even when they don’t seem urgent. When you do this, they just pile on top of another, and before long, you’re treading through rough waters everywhere you guy, plaguing your relationship with unnecessary and fixable issues. This isn’t something the hero of any story would do (at least, not without wanting to fix things).
Selfishness. A relationship is all about sharing experiences with each other, so if you’re just focused on yourself most of the time, then this isn’t a relationship. Or it’s not a healthy one, at least. While superheroes may be too focused on everyone else, you’re like any great villain, only focusing on yourself.
Never lasting. You need to start looking within if you notice a trend of relationships just never working out. It’s one thing if you’re just not compatible with someone, but if you’re not compatible with anyone, then it’s not them… it’s you. You need to take a long, hard look at your life and your personality. Are you really the good guy you think you are?