Extroverts and introverts are inherently different. We’ve been hearing that ever since we heard about the concept of what extroverted and introverted even was. Whenever this comes up, it’s always about introverts. More people identify with being an introvert than ever before, to the point where extroverted people are seen as shallow because of it. Unfortunately, one study has proven than maybe extroverted people are capable of terrible things.A study out of Georgia Southern University has found that extroverts might be more (or less) than they seem. Extroverts are great people to be in relationships with, primarily because of their fun-loving personalities and their skills with people. However, science says they’re also a lot more likely to be cheaters. That’s not great news for introvert/extrovert relationships, but being in a relationship with an extrovert doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to get cheated on. Your relationship just needs more communication. Here’s how extroverted people might be a lot more likely to cheat, and how extroverts and introverts can bridge the gaps in their world view.
Extroverts are often the life and soul of any party. They’re often the center of attention, primarily because they have such magnetic personalities. Unfortunately, it might be those magnetic personalities that end up getting them into a lot of trouble.
According to a recent study, extroverts are a lot of things. They’re good with crowds, and also a lot more likely to have a string of affairs without feeling all that guilty about it. More importantly, they’re more likely to carry more narcissistic and psychopathic personality traits than introverts.
The study comes out of Georgia Southern University. According to Dr. Nicholas Holtzman, who led the study, people who think extroverts are perfect relationship material because of their extroversion are in for a surprise. “Most people seeking long-term relationships think that extroverts are going to be great mates – because they have positive emotions and they are fun to be around,” he told the Daily Mail. “But our study shows that there is the potential for extraverts to turn towards short-term mating strategies. These are the people who tend to be more narcissistic, more psychopathic.”
He even went as far as to give relationship advice. Holtzman even said that people who are looking for someone to settle down with would be better off going for people who score higher on conscientiousness and agreeableness than extroversion. That’s because they’re a lot less likely to have one night stands.
He thinks it’s all about tradeoffs. According to Holtzman, in every relationship, there are tradeoffs. “It is one of the trade-offs a person faces when they are trying to get into a relationship – if they find somebody who is very extroverted, they might find themselves with a mate who engages in one night stands,” he told the Daily Mail.
Holtzman figured this out by talking to 1,000 people. Well, more accurately, he quizzed 1,000 people from American and India, and talked to their partners, ex-partners and friends to get a good handle on how they behaved. The thousand people were both men and women. When he talked to them, he found that the extroverted among them were more likely to cheat.
Holtzman thinks this is all really interesting. Previous researchers actually weren’t able to explain this before, and he believes he’s gotten a lot closer. “That is one of the most interesting personality variables in the study, because it suggests that there are certain people who are high in these extroverted traits that do both, engage in short term and long term relationships, and that is something previous researchers could not explain.”
The report was found in the journal Evolutionary Psychology. The report concluded that: “Extroversion may predispose a person to use both short-term mating and long-term mating, which may lead to infidelity and cuckoldry.” On top of that, because of thous high risk behavior, extroverts might even be more at risk of STDs because of that.
However, there are evolutionary advantages to all of this. According to Holtzman, people who are more likely to cheat are also getting their genes out there (in theory, anyway), so extroverts are actually taking part in the evolutionary impulse to procreate. “You are engaging in those short-term promiscuous relationships and therefore presumably having more children and that is leading to your genes being passed on to the next generation.”
This doesn’t have to be this way. Introverts and extroverts aren’t just capable of falling in love, they have for thousands of years. There’s a lot of things extroverts and introverts can to to make sure their love connection lasts, and there are things you can do if you want to avoid cheating.
Your way is not the only way. Introversion and extroversion are both equally valuable, and your way isn’t inherently better than your partner’s. Recognize your differences, embrace them, and respect them in your partner. You might even find that you come to appreciate the different perspective in your life.
Set guidelines for socialization. If the introvert sees something they’re not comfortable with from someone the extrovert is talking to, they have the right to express their feelings on the matter. However, it’s not up to the introvert to try and control who the extrovert talks to either, because that can also encourage cheating and sneaking around.
Take responsibility for yourselves. Make the best of any situation you find yourself in, even if it’s not the situation that you’re the most comfortable with. Also, set guidelines for those things. For example, if your introvert hates parties, agree on an amount of time to stay and stick to it.
The phone can be an issue. So it’s up to the introvert and the extrovert to set guidelines for the phone. Some people hate the phone, and some people love it. If one of you is awful on the phone and gets really uncomfortable about it, that’s something that needs discussing. You wouldn’t believe how many issues that can cause in a relationship, believe it or not.
Extroverts might be more likely to be cheaters, but that doesn’t mean they absolutely have to be.Just because you’re predisposed to something doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to do that or be that. Open up communications lines in your relationship and be honest about how you’re feeling, and you might not ever feel the need to cheat at all.