Not everything lasts. But that’s OK. That kind of the nature of life. If everything worked out perfectly, then there’d be no failures or mistakes to learn from, and life would be significantly boring. With the being said, breakups happen. Love enters our lives, and then it jumps ship (sometimes for the better, even). Sometimes it goes smoothly, and sometimes — not so much. If love is in the stars, then so is the way you handle a breakup. Keep reading to find out how to break up painlessly, based on your Zodiac.
You like to focus on efficiency more than anything else in times of distress. You can live with the fact that people break up, and you’d rather not mull over the fact. As fun as it sounds ditching town and changing identities, you’re more rational than that. Instead, you ghost your ex. It’s simple, it’s clean and it leaves no traces.
You’re clever enough as it is. If you can stay in control of the conversation (without coming off as though you’re being controlling), there’s a good chance you can wean your way out of this breakup unscathed. By the time you’re finished talking with your about-to-be-broken-up-with beau, you’ll likely get them to see the situation exactly as you see it. They may not fully realize that they’ve been broken up with, with your clever way with words and warm disposition; they’ll figure it out soon enough.
Break up? But why, when the future looks so bright? You know, deep down, that this’ll never work out, but you can’t help yourself. Even in the middle of breaking up, you find yourself yearning for that second chance — even if it means that you’re
the one giving it. Life is short, hardships are to be had. Why not give it another go?
Emotions are troubling (there’s no doubt about that), and seeing as though pain after a breakup is inevitable, you can’t imagine why there needs to a breakup fight
to go along with it. Therefore, you take the quiet road and break up via email. It’s quaint and professional, and in your opinion, it’s even got a bit of class. It gets to the point in ways conversations seem to have trouble doing. Just log in and sign off.
Even though the end is nigh, you’re willing to offer support. So what if something’s come to an end? It doesn’t mean you have to transform into a monster. You cared for this person, and just because it’s not working out between the two of you, it shouldn’t make you hate each other. You want to talk it out, to be a shoulder to cry on — whatever it takes to make this breakup as painless as possible for the both of you.
You’ve been thinking long and hard about how you’d handle this breakup. You’ve gone back and forth, and then back again. By the time you get around to actually performing the breakup, you’re an emotional wreck, and your wreckage seeps into your soon-to-be ex. What started off as a pleasant parting of the ways has devolved into a torrential hurricane of utter pain. Way to go…
Wait. What just happened? Both of you thought this was a breakup, and yet there you both go, arm in arm, back together as though nothing happened. Maybe you’re officially broken up, but the fact that you’re physically together says otherwise. It’s as though you need your ex with
you in order to get over them in the first place. It’s a tad bizarre, but that’s how you roll.
To avoid confrontation, you know exactly what to do. Just because the romance has died doesn’t mean the relationship has to as well. You can break up and hug it out, but then you’ll likely shake hands to seal a new
deal. As one chivalrous Rick Blaine once said in “Casablanca,” “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Sure, he was saying this to a frenemy moments after an actual
breakup, but the notion still applies.
This relationship has got to end, but you feel bad. Your breakup might take some time, but that’s only because you allow it to. If you can live in your own bubble for a while, keeping distant without being hurtful, maybe they’ll do the breaking up for you. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll take the wheel. But in the meantime, you’ll hope for the best.
In an attempt to keep yourself from looking bad, you reassess the blame. Even if you’re the cause of this relationship falling apart, you wisely choose your words to them feel as though they’ve destroyed everything. You’re a decent person, but you’re not going to fall into any traps, and you haven’t got the time to feel berated. So you do the berating yourself. Once all is said and done, you can leave in a swift, emotional exit. You start in control and you leave in control. Now that’s
how you break up (says you).
There may not be any pain involved, but emotions will be all over the place. No matter how you might attempt
to approach situations, emotional is how you typically end up. You’re not mad, you’re just yelling. You’re not sad, you’re just crying. You’re not happy, you just won’t stop laughing. It’s a roller coaster with you.
You’re practical at heart, and you’re not a fan of playing games. If the end is coming, then so be it. Tears may be shed, hurtful words may be exchanged, but you’re going to handle this situation like an adult. If you’re to break up, then that’s what you’ll do. “I want to break up,” should do it. That’s what your gut tells you, at least.